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What a Sad and Pathetic State... - Abadoss' Mind
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Sat, Feb. 15th, 2003 11:21 pm
What a Sad and Pathetic State...

I feel like crap. I caught myself looking through the personal ads on MSN and Match.com... Not only that, but everytime I play the piano, I end up draining all my energy and amplifing all my emotions... sometimes it sucks to be empathetic. Stupid emotions. Were there anything that I wish I could control more, it would be my emotions.

I'm growing tired. I'm weary and sore. I want to move on, but it all just comes back. Why couldn't I have been a normal person, not weighed down by my burden? Why couldn't I have been a man who didn't care about the bigger picture or who wasn't worried about true intimacy? Why did I have to grow up so damn fast? There are times when maturity sucks...

But what am I going to do? Forsake it all? Try to return to blissful ignorance?... You can only be ignorant once, after which is stupidity... There's no turning back, I have to be who I am, but I wish that who I am fit more with my environment. It wouldn't hurt so much, then.

A strange world, indeed...

Current Mood: discontent discontent
Current Music: "Melody in Jazz" -Kenneth Edward Keyn


Sun, Feb. 16th, 2003 12:15 am (UTC)

Hey now! You shouldn't feel guilty about being emotional or wanting to experience things. Let's face it, we all think that emotions are extraneous and sucky, but they are there for a reason. Do not deny them! You are a beautiful flower...! *Leaps around* Bloom! *Pirouettes*


I suppose whether you like it or not, you are who you are and you've just gotta deal. Blah upon ignorance. If you're lonely, do whatever you can to get out into the world and meet people! (P.S. Personals aren't wrong, yo. They're just made fun of by sitcoms and most of the general population – mostly those who don't have the dumb luck to run into a lot of datable people.) :D

Hope you feel better soon, bub.