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The Life and Death of Kenneth Edward Keyn... - Abadoss' Mind
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Sat, Dec. 7th, 2002 10:07 am
The Life and Death of Kenneth Edward Keyn...

I think I'm going to run over this last week here. There wasn't a whole lot of stuff that happened, but there was enough.

On Wednesday, I had my performance at the Grotto. It was my second (and unfortunately) last time singing there. I was quite impressed with our choir this year. They were actually somewhat on tune. I sang "He Shall Feed His Flock" from the Messiah by Handel. I did well, although in my mind I could hear every little mistake as I was doing it. It was a bitter-sweet day for me.

It had been nearly a year since the last Grotto performance, around which evolved my infatuation with Hannah. It was a wondrous time and I got to be singing with her in the choir. What more could I have asked for? Then the party afterwards was at her house. There were no words to describe the pure joy and fear I felt. The joy of being in her presence and the fear of it as well. The fear that my emotions would be transparent and I would be forced to explain myself. I wonder how it would have been different, had I not fallen for her. Would this time still hold the same melancholy presence of lost love as it does now? Knowing the things I do now, would I have done the things that I did? Why couldn't I have not met her at all? Wouldn't that have made all our lives easier? Could I have been spared the pain and slow torture that I was forced to endure because of my feelings? I wonder what would have been different.

As for yesterday, I helped the National Honors Society count money from our "Holiday Sharing" at the school. I spent four hours and five mintues helping out with that. Of course, Hannah was helping out (as I found out when the people I was helping moved back to the main room), so that kinda messed up that.

I don't know what the hell it is, but where ever I go... she's there! I can't escape her! I want to be left alone so I can let my wounds heal, but yet she keeps appearing. I actually hoped very much that she wouldn't be at the school this year because I didn't want to deal with her any more. I suppose that there is nothing I can do about that, and besides it's not MY school. I can't claim it for myself. Regardless of how I feel, it's not my place to judge who has the right to stay and who doesn't.

On a different note, Feliz (my intro to movement teacher) has started using Yoga videos in the class. For me, that's not a good thing. I personally find Yoga questionable for my spirituality. It's a very long and arduous topic on my part, so I'm not going to get into it. However, I talked to Feliz and I got a compromise. I don't have to do Yoga, but I have to write a paper about it. As annoying as that is that I have to write a paper about Yoga, it's a fair trade-off.

Now that I've vented all that, I think I'm going to call it a day. I apologize if you really didn't want to get depressed reading this, but it's my journal...

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: melancholy melancholy
Current Music: "He Shall Feed His Flock" -George Fredrick Handel


The Childlike Empress
Sun, Dec. 8th, 2002 10:52 pm (UTC)

Agh! Damnit! Who's winning?!


Sorry. I really never know how to respond to these sorts of posts.