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Teeth, Pot, and Moving... - Abadoss' Mind
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Fri, Aug. 18th, 2006 03:36 pm
Teeth, Pot, and Moving...

I made a discovery today that I could've done without. I found a cavity in my upper-right (my right) incisor. I'm so used to not having cavities, so, now that I have one, I don't know what to do. Obviously, I'm going to have to go to the dentist, but, even with my job, I don't know if I can afford it. I definitely know my insurance won't cover it.

I suppose, in all honesty, I can't say that I didn't see this coming. I don't really take very good care of my teeth, to begin with. On top of that, I tend to eat a lot of crap food most of the time. It was only a matter of time. I had only hoped it would be when I could afford it. I don't know. Maybe I actually can. I guess I'll just have to look up prices and such.

In other news; a few nights ago was the first time - that I can think of - where someone asked me for some pot. I said "no", but I was so stunned that he had actually asked me for some - outside 76, no less. It was one of those "did that actually just happen?" moments. I don't doubt that he was asking everyone, but do I look like someone who would just carry pot around? I don't remember ever looking like a drug dealer. I can't help but laugh about it. It's just so random.

On another note, I managed to get that book, Fossilized Customs, to Dr. Carver. He wasn't in his office when I dropped it off, so I used push-pins to hold it up on his door. I have yet to hear a response about it, but I'm anxiously awaiting it. When it comes to issues of faith, waiting is always the hardest part. I'm very curious to hear what he has to say.

Finally, the issue I've been particularly silent about: my living situation. I haven't spoken much about this out of tach and giving myself a chance to get my thoughts in order. Suffice it to say that it has not been a stable process. The first problem came with our plan of moving back into our old apartment, which was being remodeled. That feel through because, in Jeremy's tiredness after moving into our current apartment, he requested not to have to move again. Jared told him that it was probably not going to happen, since the apartments were for sophomores. So, we believed that we would still be moving back to our old apartment. However, due to some shuffling, the PAs from McKenzie house got kicked out - to make way for ID - and got placed in our old apartment, under the assumption that we had desired to stay put. I could've dealt with that, but the fact is that Jared never told us or even mentioned it to us, so, when we found out, it was too late to do anything about it. Believe me when I say that Jared got an earful from the two of us.

The second problem then came when Jeremy decided that he needed a new roommate situation. Again, I might have been fine had he told me. I found out, however, when Jared sent me an e-mail saying that Jeremy and I weren't going to be roommates anymore and that we needed to talk about my options. Jared told me that Jeremy had sat up there complaining about how I wasn't "doing my part" - I'll discuss that in more detail a little later. He then proceeds to lecture me about how I need to take responsibility for my part in the roommate relationship - he might as well have been telling me it was my fault. I left so tired, exhausted, and frustrated that I was nearly on the verge of tears. Actually, I might have cried when I got back to my room. I don't remember. Anyway, nearly a week and half go by without Jeremy saying a single word about the whole thing - and that's not to say I never talked to him. It took me mentioning something for him to finally talk to me.

So, now I'm moving into a different apartment. I have no idea who my roommate is going to be, since he's a transfer student. I just hope he's not a jerk or an asshole. The last thing I need is to be stuck with someone who's unwilling to work with me. I also hope he's a quiet person. I really need a quiet person.

I'm going to have to pack up all my stuff again - luckily, I never fully unpacked things - and haul it all over to the new place. I managed to pick up the library's old couches, so I have a furnished living room. I still need a full size bed - twin is two small for the way that I sleep - and a table, as well as some smaller surface area tables. I also need to get a microwave and a toaster. I'll also need to pick up some other things like paper towels, dishwashing liquid, toilet paper, hand soap, etc.

There's some promise in moving out, but the timing couldn't be worse. I really don't need this kind of change right now. It's not long before classes start and I need to be in a stable setting, so I can start fresh. My sense of personal balance has been seriously thrown off. Had this happened a lot earlier, I might have been able to cope with it, but, now, it's just stressing me out.

Getting back to "doing my part", Jeremy based a lot of his reasoning for having me move out on the feeling that I wasn't doing my part in dealing with the apartment. First off, he has had reason to think that I haven't been doing my part, as I have tended to put things off a lot. The main catalysts were the dishes and the electric bill. The dishes I completely slacked off about and it's fair for him to have been upset about that. The electric bill, however, was more a matter of learned helplessness. During July, Jeremy went back to Idaho to stay with his family. I didn't get paid until he had already left, so he gave the bill to me to cover when I got paid. Problem is that the way we'd been doing it up to that point was by my giving the money to Jeremy, but, since he wasn't there, I could do that. He had suggested that I use a V-Com station, but I had no chance to do so, as I was working a lot. When he came back, the bill was unpaid and that upset him. As soon as I could, I got him the money and the issue was, fiscally, settled.

Now, those are events, albeit not entirely isolated ones. However, the "not doing my part" thing seems to be a little deeper than that. He doesn't like that I don't tend to do chores. He understands that I can't handle the fumes from the chemicals necessary to clean the bathroom or the noise that comes from a vaccuum cleaner. However, things like the dishes and garbage and things like that are within my ability and he doesn't like that I tend not to get them done all the time. That's fair and I understand that. It's not the whole picture, though.

When you step into the apartment, the first thing you might - or might not - notice is the absence of anything that's mine. The bathroom counter, as it is currently, is a perfect analogy of how things have been over the time that I've been with Jeremy. I have a few items sitting out, such as Listerine, my beard trimmer, my razor, my toothpaste, and my toothbrush. If you notice their location, they're crammed up against the corner of the counter. Then look at all of Jeremy's stuff. It takes up the entire countertop surface. Cabinets in the kitchen? I have one cabinet for both my own dishes and my food. The rest of the cabinets are filled with Jeremy's dishes and the pantry is filled with his food. The refrigerator? I can occasionally fit a few things in there, but the rest of the time it's full of his stuff - which I can't really use. I can't buy food because I have nowhere to put it. My room is where the majority of my stuff is crammed. The rest of the apartment is filled with his stuff. While it might be said that it's just a matter of who has more stuff, but that's not necessarily true. When it comes down to it, it's about who's making room for their stuff. If Jeremy wanted to, he could use half the amount of space and still accomplish the same goal. The problem is that he's made no place for me. It's no wonder that I might have no motivation to take responsibly for the place. I never lived here... I only occupied one of the rooms.

Now, when it comes to cleaning up, I don't like dealing with big messes. I deal with this by not making big messes. If I do something in the living room, I usually put it back the way it was as soon as I'm done. With Jeremy, it's a matter of piling things up until he's so sick of it that he decides it's time to clean. I have no desire to clean if it's just going to build up like that every time. The point of a clean home is so that it's at a point where it can be kept clean. I rarely use the rest of the apartment because it's usually littered with his crap. I'm trapped in my room - which, is in itself a disaster at the moment - and isolated because I don't want to deal with it.

Then there's the issue of noise, which has always been a problem. Any time he's stressed out he blasts the stereo. He watches movies at all hours of the night. I have no sound-proofing in my room and I'm forced to deal with it because he's gotten so used to me asking him to turn it down that he barely does it anymore - and, when he does, it's barely enough. His concept of sound is extremely limited - because, if it's not, then he's just extremely selfish. Loud noises stress me out, even when I'm not trying to sleep. So, being trapped in my room, forced to endure the blasted stereo, does not do well for my sanity. And when it's not the stereo, it's his friends playing Halo...

Speaking of friends; to Jeremy's friends, I'm not much more than a nuisance and/or an obstacle to get around. Any time they want to use the apartment for something, they don't bother going to me, but always to Jeremy. Even when he's not there, they ask him - regardless of what I might be doing or any attempt I might be making to relax. Even when Jeremy was in Idaho, they called him up instead of talking to me. They're like little kids asking daddy for something mommy won't give them. As much as they might joke about it, I am not the wife of the apartment and I do not tolerate that kind of disrespect. I have equal say in what goes on in the apartment and the fact that they usurp that authority really pisses me off. What makes it worse is that Jeremy didn't do a whole lot to correct them. He piped up when they went too far out of line and/or when I complained, but other than that he didn't stop them from continuing to think that way about me. He allowed them to walk all over me. Needless to say, that will be one thing I definitely won't miss.

When it comes to "doing my part", I say that my part was putting up with a lot of Jeremy's nonsense. But, before I go too far, I want to make it clear that my frustrations are against his actions, behaviors, and attitudes as a roommate. Jeremy is a good person and he does try. We've managed to work things out for a while before this, so that's a credit to him. I understand that my needs tend to be a killjoy most of the time, so I appeciate that he tried to work it out for as long as he did.

Anyway, that's mainly what's been going on lately... lot'sa stuff...

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Current Mood: exhausted exhausted
Current Music: "Violin Concerto in B minor - Scherzo" -Lance Chamberlain


Sat, Aug. 19th, 2006 01:29 am (UTC)

It sounds to me that Jeremy's kind of an ass for making a big deal about you "not doing your part" but then being completely disrespectful to you when you make simple requests like not blasting music late at night and for letting his friends have free reign of a place that belongs to both of you. I know what you mean about loud noises stressing you out... I hate when people have to blast music and TV all the time and even vacuum machines make me uncomfortable. So maybe it's good that you'll be getting a new roommate... change can be good, right? Hahaha. Well anyway... good luck with everything.

Sat, Aug. 19th, 2006 01:59 am (UTC)

I do not believe I am fond of this Jeremy person.

*hugs* I'm praying for you.

This is where Maria talks about life
Mon, Aug. 21st, 2006 04:12 pm (UTC)

I will definitely be praying that the new roomate will be awesome. Do you get to move into one of the remodeled apartments at least?

Kenneth Edward Keyn
Mon, Aug. 21st, 2006 10:03 pm (UTC)

Nope. One of the old ones... :(

ReplyThread Parent
This is where Maria talks about life
Mon, Aug. 21st, 2006 10:34 pm (UTC)

to add insult to injury. gee whiz

ReplyThread Parent