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Seven - Abadoss' Mind
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Fri, Dec. 16th, 2005 11:10 am
Seven

My paid account status definitely expires on Sunday. That's pretty sad for me, as I've had a paid account for the last two or three years. I just can't afford to pay for another year...

Anyway, I've been spending some quality time with my mind lately. As it is my custom to do, I spent most of my thoughts on my commitment. My thoughts focused mostly on whether or not I'm ready to be able to release it. The fact is that my commitment is not just a commitment, but it's also a choice of lifestyle. To release myself from the commitment would be to make a change in my lifestyle. That's a scary thought. I'm generally an adaptable person, but to make drastic changes to who I am and the way that I live is not something that I relish a great deal.

However, I also came to the conclusion that, with each passing year, the toll on my emotional and, more recently, physical health. It's been seven years since I made this commitment with God. I do not know if this is part of the deal or not, but I know that I will not last long like this. It scares me to think that I could ever live out life like this. It's too painful.

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: lonely lonely
Current Music: "The Darkness of Night - Symphony No.1" -Kenneth Edward Keyn

1CommentReply

samhobbits
samhobbits
This is where Maria talks about life
Sat, Dec. 17th, 2005 01:19 am (UTC)

Hey Kenny, it was great to see you at Midnight Breakfast...which was at 9pm, not midnight go figure. We really should hang out over break, since we'll both be in town. Maybe after Christmas? Or even in the daytime next week. Let me know what works for you.


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