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Riddles of the Mind and Heart... - Abadoss' Mind
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Sat, Nov. 26th, 2005 11:58 pm
Riddles of the Mind and Heart...

I have often complained about the situation that I so often find myself: feelings of loneliness; plagued by weird or unusual disorders of one kind or another; burdened with past guilts and regrets; etc. I know that the repetition of said complains has got to become tiresome after some time, so I do offer my apologies, assuming I still have readers. That said, I would also remind my readers that this journal's purpose is to be an outlet for emotions that otherwise would not be expressed and, as I have many things to express and few outlets, they tend to be in the form of complaints. So, while I do not plan to change the content of my journal, I am thankful for those who've stuck with me and that will continue to do so.

I am a fairly strange creature. I have these ideas which seem to make sense, but fail to yield practical applications. I have tried putting all my energy into them and I have tried waiting for them to reveal themselves, but to no avail. They seem forever locked away in theory. In the meantime, I am left alone and bewildered. I am left to consider where I have failed and where I should continue on. I need something to break the cycle and intercept me where I am because I cannot reach it.

I have dreams that seem so close to reality, but just out of touch. They speak softly to me and remind me of my goals, but I cannot speak back to them, nor can I reach out and touch them. When I try to pursue, they fade from me and no longer return, so I do nothing in hopes that they will not disappear. I long for the day when they will come and take my hand, forever proving them alive and not of my imagination.

I am sure, by now, my cryptic narrative has been rather confusing. Not to worry, though. Consider my dreams the same as the hopes and desires of my heart and my ideas as a representation of my social interactions.

It is late, so I must go to sleep.

Tags: ,
Current Mood: melancholy melancholy
Current Music: "O Fortuna" -Carl Orff


This is where Maria talks about life
Sun, Nov. 27th, 2005 06:25 pm (UTC)

Kenny, we should go out for a bite to eat sometime and talk. I think that we can be good friends if we hang out more. We seem to be a lot alike, and I regret not taking the opportunity to get to know you more. Your gentlemanly behavior always makes me feel like a lady. This isn't sympathy praise or friendship (I fear that as much as you I think), I just really think we should hang out. I'm flying home in two weeks. We should figure something out.