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So Alone... - Abadoss' Mind
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Fri, Oct. 7th, 2005 06:24 pm
So Alone...

I could be in a room full of my friends and I'd still feel so alone. I'm frustrated that I can with so much ease stay in my room for several weeks without anyone coming to see me or to see how I was doing. I'm frustrated that no one seems to want to invest in me. I'm more frustrated that I have no right to expect anyone in particular to do so. I need to feel wanted, not just needed. I need to know that I am important in the lives of the people I interact with. I need to know that I'm not alone.

Current Mood: lonely lonely
Current Music: "Sanctus - Missa de Clementia" -Kenneth Edward Keyn


Mon, Oct. 10th, 2005 02:05 am (UTC)

i did have fun with you when i hung out with you, i just... i don't think you hurt me or anything, i just felt like you were one of those guys who wasn't ever going to give me a chance. and maybe you would sometime, but i don't know... even as friends, even if we were just friends, i felt like i was/would kinda fall short. not that you should lower your expectations at all, but i don't know, Kenneth. maybe it isn't fair to write you this... but you often complain of being lonely, but i don't feel like you've invited at least, me into your life. i mean, you were warm and friendly when we hung out. but what was it worth? anything? :(

i don't know kenneth. you are so romantic, and kind, and polite. but i think there is more beauty to be had in stopping to smell the roses more often. in laughing hysterically at how silly you are. in pillow fights. and maybe you'll never be that person... maybe there's too much hurt in your life, but i think that there's gotta to be more joy out there for you to find.

but, what do i know right?