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The Answer to Life, Love, and... Everything... - Abadoss' Mind
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Fri, Aug. 2nd, 2002 01:22 pm
The Answer to Life, Love, and... Everything...

IT'S 42!!!!

Sorry, just a bad reference to "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". I highly recommend it, but now's not the time for that.

Anyway, I finished summer school yesterday. I officially have a 0.5 credit in Social Studies... woohoo. I've essentially had the credit sinc ethe first couple weeks. I completed all the book work the first three days and the final test I finished the following three days. The only thing that made it so I had to keep going was the fact that I chose a project that I knew I would go overboard on. All I was supposed to do was create my own Constitution... I WROTE A BOOK!!! And to top it off... I TRIED TO PERSONALLY PUBLISH IT!!! The only stopping me from actually turning it into a real book was the fact that the pictures that Pat drew for me weren't printing. I didn't get to actually make my book, but my teacher basically knew that I went above and beyond what I was supposed to do, and he had already marked me off. The grades were pass/fail, but had it been a letter grade it would have been that imaginary A+++. For future reference, if you want to know why I take so long on projects or I don't complete them at all... it's because I'm going overboard and I'm a perfectionist, who won't let any detail fly by.

On to love... I breezed back to my first entry that involved Hannah. None of you would know about it, since it was a private entry. I found a very interesting comment in it. "I becoming tired of the one-sided illusions I create in my head." I knew, even back then what this was. It's amazing how much like an idoit you feel when you realize the answer is right in front of your face. I knew it all along. So, why then?... Why did I continue on? What made me forget the answer? Hope? Fear? What? I may not think of her as much any more, but I still wonder. There are still so many more emotions I have to wade through. I still have trouble seeing red jeep cherokees, or listening to music from West Side story, or hearing the Coventry Carol, or remembering all the things I said and did. I invested too much in a imaginary relationship, and I lost it all. I remember that I sang her a love song, essentially, over the phone. I gave her a necklace from Korea. I gave her my heart. But she, as I knew her, didn't exist. I created the fantasy of a Hannah that loved me back. I will move on, though. I don't know how I'm going to respond to her once we get back in school, but I know that I will move on.

As for everything else... well, not much else happing. Just random thoughts and the like.

Tags: , , , ,
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: "Yoshi's Rag" -McVaffe


Fri, Aug. 2nd, 2002 02:25 pm (UTC)

Isn't it Life, the Universe, and Everything? :D

Kenneth Edward Keyn
Fri, Aug. 2nd, 2002 02:54 pm (UTC)

Yes. It was a shameless adaptation...

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