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Old Journal 38 - Abadoss' Mind
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Fri, Dec. 4th, 1998 09:35 pm
Old Journal 38

Today is Friday, December 4, 1998. I am weak. I am pathetic. I am a disgrace…without God. Without God there is no reason to live. Thank you Lord…for rescuing me from the very pit of hell. I have died and been raised again only to die again and yet be raised up. Only by the blood of the Lamb do I even have a chance to live and let live. Only by God’s grace am I alive today. Without him…I would be dead. I would have been dead for years. I would have been dead over eight years ago, but here I am still a fool, idiot, moron, and complete dunce, but God forgives me. Every time He forgives me. By His grace and mercy do I even sit here and write this. Winter. Even I, the Norwegian, am starting to feel its long cold fingers, but I have a force on my side that more powerful than the rages of the storm, the chills of the night, the long dark shadow of death, and all Satan’s forces combined and quadrupled. God. The Lord God Almighty. The Son of God. The Lamb that was slain. The Author and the Finisher of my faith. Jehovah Jirah. Yahweh Michadesh. Emmanuel. Jesus Christ of Nazareth the Son of God who died for my sins on the cross of Calvary so that I could rejoice and say, “He saved me. He saved me. He brought me home when I deserved to die. He brought me…home…home…home…He brought me in His arms to the safety of home. Heaven. In His arms. A place where love is abundant. Where fear is gone. Where death is destroyed. A place of refuge from the storm. A place where peace is strong and death is gone. God saved ME.” Only God can save me. Only God can be my true savior and King Almighty. No other has even the slightest chance of coming close to His place in my life. He is. He IS. HE IS!! HE IS!!!!! HE IS GOD!!!!!! No other. He said to this world, “I will never leave nor forsake you. I will always be by your side. Even when you can’t see Me because of the wind and the rain, I’ll be right there with you. All the way and beyond. All the way. I’ll be there. Always. I promise.”