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Old Journal 11 - Abadoss' Mind
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Tue, Sep. 29th, 1998 08:33 pm
Old Journal 11

Today is Tuesday, September 29, 1998. It was a rather ruff day, today. The things that have happened to today just kind of make me a little disturbed. First, this morning on the bus, there was a substitute driver who was also driving a different bus. That doesn’t really bother me in the least. It’s what happened when I got on the bus. I thought we were supposed to sit in our assigned seats. So, when I went to my seat, Damare or Danar or whatever his name is said to sit somewhere else. That doesn’t bother me either. The thing was that Kristy said distinctly, “Sit your ass down.” Well, D-Day has obviously come already. Sort of. One thing is for sure, she doesn’t mind using a branch of vocabulary that I tend not use unless absolutely necessary. That got me in a bit of a slump. Anyway, I also have to do a map and a half page or so on the houses of the Indians, sorry, Native Americans, of the Southwest. That ticks me off only slightly. Also, I forgot my band uniform for the Rose Bowl. Plus, once down there, I just hope that I don’t run into Kip, or if I do that he’ll leave me alone, as far as stupid cracks and insults about me. I sat in a lawn chair on the roof over my carport for a while. I came to the conclusion that I may have ended up jumping the gun in the process of waiting for the right moment to meet Kristy, when I tried to be noticed. Like yesterday, I stood at the home plate while Kristy was sitting in the spot where the batters sit, as I said before. Also yesterday, I ran past her as fast as I could several times while we ran the mile. Plus anything else I left out that I don’t remember. So, my only hope will have to be to pray that this rocky start will not dampen the relationship to come, if God wants me in this relationship. I’m just scared of all this stuff that keeps floating around in my head about this little process that I’m going through. This is for sure; this case in my life has brought me closer to God and my music than ever before. The reason for that is that music can express things that can’t be expressed by the stupid tooling we call speech. Music can release feelings that words could not and can not express. Only God’s language, whatever that is can express that true feelings of the spirit and soul, but music is the most releasing language that we as humans have. I will always acknowledge that. Good night to all whom find peace in God and love.