In all honesty, I've spent a lot of time not knowing what to think. I've been part of churches on both extremes and I've burned myself out with both. The Bible says to worship with both your mind and soul, but, in churches I've been to, all I find is one or the other. Before, I was okay with it and I could feel a sense of worship through it, but now, neither do. What could be wrong?
Now, I believe God is real and that He deserves worship, so it frustrates me that I don't feel like I'm worshipping in a church setting. My problem is that I've come to a point in my spirituality where I'm no longer satisfied with mediocority in the way I worship. I want to worship with my mind and my soul. I want my worship to engage my emotions and my mind. Where do I find that?
My main problem is that I can't find anywhere that I can corporately worship and fulfill my views concerning it. I only wish that there were somewhere that would. At the same time, though, I wonder if corporate worship is meant to be a little different. I suppose it mostly reflects where the congregation is in their spirituality, but how am I supposed to know. I've lost touch with that aspect ever since I left West Union.
What actually engages both my mind and my emotions? For me, I've noticed that Bach and Brahms seem more worshipful than any contemporary worship set to me. If ever there was reverent, intellegent music that serious struck the heart, their works would be among it. Mozart's Kyrie, Palestrina's O Magnum, Mysterium and several others like that would also be included. I want music that is well thought through and masterfully composed. The trouble is, it's hard to find that in a regular church setting.
As a side note, I should mention that regardless of my views about worship, it does not mean that anyone else's form of worship is invalid. I believe that worship is an individual expression of one's relationship with God, so if it is truly worshipful in your mind, than I'm not going to judge you for it.