Kenneth Edward Keyn (abadoss) wrote,
Kenneth Edward Keyn
abadoss

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Alone?

I've been thinking a little. What would I actually do if that one girl that is absolutely perfect for me were to suddenly come into my life? How would my life change if one day she was there? Clearly somethings would have to change, but what? I would essentially have to immediately open up my life for her and I expect that I would have to let go of some of the things that I want to pursue.

So what am I saying? Could it be that any searching I do now is ultimately futile simply because I am not ready for the perfect woman? Then I have to ask myself, would I ever be ready? And further I must ask, would I be prepared to never find her? Could I live a life without her?

So far, I've managed to live a fairly solitary life (if not in physicality, then definitely emotionally). I know that I am capable of being alone for a very long period of time with relatively little damage. I can live in an emotional desert.

But here's the problem: I can live without people because I hope that one day I will not have to.

Can I live in the knowledge that I will never find her? Can I live a life alone?





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