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Back in the real world (almost) - Abadoss' Mind
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Fri, Jan. 18th, 2002 09:42 pm
Back in the real world (almost)

Well, a lot of what I'll be saying is probably quite new information. I wrote a really big private post, so this is the updated and dulled-down version.

A lot of this have happened this last week. It's important to note that over the Holidays, my mom and I drove down to Southern California. We had a lot of time to talk. One of those issues was my purist attitude about dating or things related. Though I still maintain my decision to not date, my mother convinced me that I should at least go to my Junior and Senior Proms, as it is a major part of the "high school experience".

So taking this lead, I starting to think about girls I could ask. My friend Hannah came to mind. It took me a week to finally decide that it be worth it to ask. So on Tuesday, after school, I mustered up some courage and stumbled my way into asking her to the prom. Being my all perceptive self, I seemed to forget (or block out) that Hannah was going out with another semi-friend of mine, Steve. She was kind about it and tried to gently say that she already had a date. Oddly enough I took it rather well. I said my usual "That's okay", "No problem", and "Don't worry about it" and went on my way.

Now, to say that I'm not thinking about it, would be a lie. A lot of my thought process has been occupied by this. Unfortunately, she was the only one that really came to mind, so I'm having difficulty thinking of someone else that it would be fun to go with. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't know people who would love to go, it's just that I don't know who I could go with that would make it a constructive experience.

I thought of Karen, but as I think more about it, I really don't think that we're at a point in our friendship where that wouldn't be incredibly awkward. Also, it's a lot harder to spend time with her, for some reason. Her personality is getting a lot less appealing. I still consider her my friend, but my perspective seems to have shifted a little. She almost seems crude at times. In all honesty, she has no tact, grace, or even manners for that matter.

Anyway, I thought of saffroncisco (I know you're reading), but he whole tux thing kinda turned me off on that idea. I thought of Lisa, but then again, we have this unfortunate way of trying to convert each other to our own religions. I don't think that would work. I thought of Jessica (last name removed for courtesy), but she's kinda gloomy and depressing at times. I thought of Brynn, but I just don't know about that. Then I had the very weird and demented idea of asking Marian, but after thinking about it... no. She's a bit less conservative than I prefer.

I thought about Rachelle, but as I thought about it more, I realized that I don't know her well enough to ask her to the Prom as a friend. In addition, her personality is way to out-there for me. On to Kim... the one problem is that she is incredibly hyper at all times. I'm usually exhausted every time I talk to her. It's really hard to not be tired, even though I try not to be. My very introverted nature has trouble processing that much human generated stimulus. I then thought of Hannah's friend Angie, but that would just be wrong and lowdown. You don't do that kinda thing... it's just not right. Tamson... nothing in common. Maggie... personality conflicting. Erika... would seem a little weird. Keven... no. Zoe... ditto. Julia... err... doesn't really appeal.

I then thought of this brilliant idea to get out of the whole thing and ask my cousin Katie to come, but that would seem weird and she's a bit older than me (22). My only problem with going stag is that fact that I would normally have nothing to do except sit by the snack bar and look like a pig. At least by bringing a date, I will have made a commitment to spend the evening with her, giving me a purpose and something to do.(those who know me understand that going with another guy is extremely off limits).

I don't know. I'm tired and really stressed. It's difficult to make decisions like this. In addition to all the lovely fun stuff that lines the gutters of my life, this is just one more heap on the pile. Maybe I can ask some random stranger to go with me. At least I'd have a chance to meet new people. Hmm... maybe not.

Anyway, that's just my little dilemma. I actually have bigger problems, but I don't usually share those with anyone. There are so many things that I don't say to anyone at all, not even to my family. I suppose that's why I actually started this journal. It gives me a chance to say all the stuff that I can't say normally. I can let people find it if they want to know, but I don't have to force it. That's the nice part. My thought are open to anyone who wants to know how I feel, without me trying to explain everything to their face.

I like this thing.

Tags: ,
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: "Spring" -Vivaldi


Sat, Jan. 19th, 2002 12:13 am (UTC)

Way to be critical of people! LOL! *Pats you on the head* Sheesh. You know, you don't have to have a date to go to a dance (much less, stress about one that's five months from now). The bouncer's not going to stop you at the door and say, "Where's your date, mister? Scram!"

And don't be dissin' my tuxedo. *Cracks knuckles* If you know what's good for you. ;)

Kenneth Edward Keyn
Sat, Jan. 19th, 2002 11:32 am (UTC)
Re: Whoa!

I already said that going stag didn't seem like something I wanted to do. I like to think of Prom as an opportunity to spend time with someone.

Also, I'm not dissin' your tuxedo, it's just not my cup o' tea.

ReplyThread Parent
Kenneth Edward Keyn
Sat, Jan. 19th, 2002 11:35 am (UTC)
Re: Whoa!

In addition, I'm not being critical. I think that everyone has a right to be themselves, it's just that they don't really fit my personality. It wouldn't be constructive. That's my point of view.

ReplyThread Parent