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Social and What Not... - Abadoss' Mind
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Mon, Mar. 8th, 2004 09:05 am
Social and What Not...

As I imagine some might have noticed, I've been a little silent the last couple days. I've been a little wrapped up in things, so I've not had a great amount of energy to post anything. In addition, I've also been thinking about how I wanted to say what's on my mind. I know that this journal is meant to be a journal for myself that others can read if they like and if they don't like it, too bad, but I need to say it right for my own sake. It's too easy to distort information and what really happened when it's not written right.

Anyway, on Monday, I went and saw my counselor. She gave me a challenge, while good by intent, didn't turn out as well as either of us had hoped. The challenge was to spend at least thirty minutes talking to MaryAnne and getting to know her by the next counseling session. I suppose it's best I explain how that bit came about...

MaryAnne is the sister of Charity, who played Anne Frank in the play last semester. She wasn't at Warner until this semester, so I had only met her briefly when she came to the set last semester a couple of times. She's enrolled this semester, so I've had a little bit of an opportunity to get to know her. To make things a little easier to understand for what happened, it's important to note that she has a boyfriend on the East Coast.

A lot of what I talk about in my counseling sessions is improving my social skills, so my counselor asks me about the kinds of social contacts I have. Well, MaryAnne being one of my social contacts comes up every now and then, so my counselor has me thinking of her as an outlet to build a friendship (she knows that MaryAnne has a boyfriend) with a girl.

So, back to my counselor's challenge. To fulfill the challenge, I thought I'd invite her to hang out with me. However, I hadn't really thought of anything that we could do to hang out, but I invited her anyway. Problem is, she isn't comfortable with hanging out with me alone. So, I thought to invite her to go with my family to go see Hidalgo (pretty good movie, btw), but she was too busy studying for her chemistry test.

Now this entire time, I'm thinking about how to get a chance to talk to her for thirty minutes, just the two of us, so I go about my usual antics in planning something (for those that don't know me in person, when I plan something I tend to get very single-minded about it and I can be perceived as a little pushy). So, after we get back from Hidalgo, I went over to MaryAnne's dormroom and apologized if I seemed a bit pushy (because I felt that it was the right thing to do).

Well, while there, I talked to her a little bit about it and I had no other choice, but to tell her (while pointing at my ring) that I had a commitment not to date. Hearing that, she said that knowing that made her feel a little more comfortable. She was pretty sure that I knew about her boyfriend, but she wasn't sure how to interpret my approach. She now knew that it was only a friends thing.

Not exactly my version of a happy ending. Lately, I've been really hesistant to tell anyone about my commitment, simply because I haven't come to a decision about it yet. I'm still going to follow the commitment until I make a decision, but what happens afterward? What do I tell people who know about my commitment if I choose to abandon it? So, I found it a little disappointing that the only way that I could make MaryAnne feel comfortable hanging out with me is by telling her.

So, at about two o'clock, I have to go over to my counselor and explain why I failed miserably... that should be fun...

Current Mood: disappointed disappointed
Current Music: "Homage to Amida Buddha" -EvilHorde

4CommentReplyShare

fedupgirl
Fedupgirl
Mon, Mar. 8th, 2004 09:42 am (UTC)

The way you present it doesn't sound like a mighty failure. At least from this end. Good on you though for inviting her. It takes guts to do that, especially if you haven't hung out before. And good on you again for going to visit to explain yourself. That took guts too. It sounds to me like you are really trying.


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krikketgirl
krikketgirl
Kat
Mon, Mar. 8th, 2004 10:22 am (UTC)

I agree with the above comment...it really doesn't sound like failure to me, although I can tell that you are really disappointed. I really admire you for the effort you put forth!


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(Anonymous)
Mon, Mar. 8th, 2004 08:10 pm (UTC)

you're THIS crazy. (http://www.geocities.com/migtank/malvixcopy.html)





p.s. i'm in USA


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(Anonymous)
Wed, May. 12th, 2004 01:35 am (UTC)
Dating!

I don't understand what's wrong with dating! Everyone these days seems to think that it's wrong. If it has a good chance of leading to sex then it's wrong. But if it's just a way to get to know somebody and to have a shoulder to cry on then what's the problem? How else are you gonna find a potential mate? At this rate you'll never get married. (especially with the whole sleeping thing)


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