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I'm getting very mixed messages..... - Abadoss' Mind
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Sat, Mar. 2nd, 2002 11:50 pm
I'm getting very mixed messages.....

My life is one of the weirdest lives I have ever know about! I swear that there is some sort of demented and utterly insane script written for my life! If I didn't know any better, I would say my life was a movie! {Preamble complete}

The last week has been a very turbulent one. I'm not going to talk totally in detail about all of it, just because I'm too tired. Anyway, I'll start off with the least weird thing.

A message passed on to me, from Connie, by my family... she wants me to be a bouncer for La Peña. This is a very weird offer, but whatever. Sure, I tend to be an intimidating figure, but there are some legal issues that may creep up. First off, I don't know how well I could handle a bunch of drunk Latins. Secondly, I don't think that a minor is a good idea to have around as staff for an over-twenty-one joint. Third, I don't deal with people I don't know very well. I might get carried away or, more likely, someone else will be carried away by me. Well, that's enough of that. As far as I'm concerned, this is just plain old news. Nothing special about it really. Just a decision I'll need to make.

Next... I place 6th in the OMEA competition. I received a II. That's not bad and I'm glad I actually got that! I thought I did so horribly that time, but the judge was cool. He gave a lot of good pointers and tips. Oh, well. Next year, I'll be a little more prepared.

Third... I'm getting swamped with paperwork (homework) and I'm getting really stressed about it. Yeah.

Fourth... I almost have everything I need for my Korea trip. All I need to get is my passport.

Fifth and finally... I talked to Hannah. tried to get her attention all the day on Monday (covertly, of course), but had no luck. So, Tuesday, I left a note on her purse in choir. Right afterward, she met up with me and I stumbled around was my problem was. At first, she insisted that she didn't say that I creeped her out. Then said that she might have, but doesn't remember. After stumbling through that, she said that she doesn't think of me that way. Once that topic blew away, she said that day for her was the worst. According to her, she had just broken up with Paul during class (she had put her stuff down, but went out to talk to him) and that she was getting incredibly annoyed with her friends. Mind you both of those issues exist because her friends and Paul seem to have gotten into smoking pot. Her philosophy is never to date someone on pot (she said this later). Anyway, I saw her in her car, after we talked, completely stressed out. When she noticed me and Erik, who was with me at the time, she started er engine and left.

I suppose from a different angle this looks kinda suspicious, but I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. I managed to talk to Lisa, who has some interesting opinions, about this. She doesn't seem to think Hannah is a worthwhile person to place my friendship. She says that Hannah is a very self-centered, shallow person. Lisa has incite on a lot of things, especially good when I evaluate situations, but I'm not sure if she has a clear view of it. I'm not going to contest whether or not Hannah is self-centered or shallow because I don't think either of us know her well enough to say. Some people can easily assume that I'm very self-centered. Hell, I might be, but someone who hasn't been around me for a long enough time couldn't say if I was with true conviction.

Once again, I'm left with a very big question mark floating above my head. I have no clue what to think. However, as I offer to anyone I consider my friend, she has my loyalty and, if she asks, my protection. I only pray that I can figure this out.

I would've really gotten into more details, but I'm tired and I need sleep. Good night.

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: restless restless
Current Music: "The Phantom of the Opera" -Andrew Llyod Webber

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