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Here We Are Again... - Abadoss' Mind
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Thu, Aug. 6th, 2009 04:00 pm
Here We Are Again...

Time for an update...

The big one right now is that my job ended. Tuesday was my last day. Seeing as how it was temporary to begin with and was only dragged on because they hadn't hired anyone yet, it's not entirely surprising to see the end. The reality is that they finally hired someone, so I'm out a job. He's pretty qualified for the job, so I don't think they're going to crash and burn or anything. He's also a nice guy, so it should work out. However, that does leave me in an awkward position. I now have to find a job again.

Now, I'd been trying to find something full time the entire time that I was working this last job. I liked having the job, but I need full time to get anywhere with my finances. The problem was that I was having large amounts of difficulty finding anything. The economy has gotten better since earlier in the year, but, for all the new jobs that are available, there's still just as many people applying for jobs as before. I don't have the level of experience or highly honed skills to make myself float to the top of a very competative job market. I just need a job, not the high corner office cushy job that one applies for with every ounce of strength. However, it seems like every job is being treated like the cushy job by all these very qualified, very determined people. I don't like the idea of putting someone who's highly qualified and in need out of the job just so I can get in there, but I'd rather not go bankrupt either. Needless to say, this is a problem.

Granted, it's only been two days since my job ended. There's only so much a person can do that amount of time. What I have done is I called up Volt temp services to let them know I was active again. They say that they are better off now then they were the last time I was calling in regularly, so I should have better luck this time around. I have yet to land an assignment with them, so we'll see how this goes. It would be great if they can find something for me right off the bat. I won't hold my breath, though.

In other news, I got a couple of my arrangements released as part of an album on OverClocked ReMix. The album is called "Echoes of Betrayal, Light of Redemption" and it's an arrangement project of music from Final Fantasy IV. I have two pieces included in the album, a string quartet, called "Edward's Dream Quartet," and a nice accordian and jazz ensemble piece. Both turned out surprisingly well. The jazz ensemble piece, called "Kind of Green," was posted on OCR itself and has received a lot of good reviews. I'm hoping that the string quartet soon gets posted on the main site too. Go check it out.

Other than that, I'm not really doing as much music as I want to be. It's been difficult to muster the creative juices necessary, but I'm certainly doing a lot more lately than I have in while. Most of my work right now is project based and mostly arrangements at that. I would like to return to writing some original compositions or even work on my own album, which I've planned, but still haven't gotten to. I suppose I just need to get on it, though.

Speaking of my original music, I'm trying to find someone that would create a generic video that I can put my music over and upload to YouTube. I don't have much money, so I'm mostly looking for someone that would be able to do me a favor in that regard. I'm thinking of putting the request up on the forums of OCR. I figure there might be someone there able and willing to help me out. Before I do that, I'm going to try contacting a few people individually first. We'll see.

Emotionally, I feel drained mostly. I feel very much as I always do when I lack stability and the means to make future plans or deal with immediate needs and pressures. I still feel lonely as before and frustrated with my lack of a love life - though, I don't think I'd want to put a girlfriend through my lack of stability right now anyway. I'm grateful for the friends that I do have and those that continue to remember me, but I do still feel lost. I suppose it's just one of those things where my mind and my heart don't particularly agree with one another. I hope they someday soon manage to align, preferably on being in good spirits. Oh, well.

Anyway, that's about the extent of it for now. I know I should be writing in this thing a lot more than I do. I want to write more. Here's to hope...

Tags: , , , , ,
Current Mood: bored bored
Current Music: "..." -...

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gentledarkness
gentledarkness
No
Fri, Aug. 7th, 2009 03:17 pm (UTC)

It's so good to hear from you again. It really is.

I can't begin to explain the struggles I've been battling in aligning what my heart wants and what my mind wants. It's led me down an emotional roller coaster, and I think I can understand, at least at the very gist, of what you're experiencing in that manner. For the most part, I've finally figured out how to get them to at least get along, even when they don't agree with each other. That's a big step, I think.

Finding out the differences between what you want and what you really -need- out of a companion/friend/lover is probably one of the hardest things in understanding the heart/mind correlation. It's also difficult having emotions completely overwhelm any rational or logical thoughts you may have on trying to understand or trying to advance in that process.

Financial woes are certainly stressful. I do pray that Volt can help you out right now. I went through them to land my job, actually. But that was a stroke of luck. You have talent and ambition, and at the very least, I think you should push to get your music out there. I'm not entirely sure if you create music from mixers or which instruments you can play, but I think right now it is imperative that you embrace your passions and make what you can with them.

Writing will help you get out a lot of emotional confusion. It has become routine of me to write it all out when I wake up or when something is bothering me. I'm sure my posts are overwhelming your friend's page actually. Haha.

I'm not sure where to find people who can create a generic video. I don't have any equipment or creative thought on what kind of music you have and what kind of video footage will add too your work. Though, if it's something gentle, footage of the Gorge would be beautiful!

I wish you all the best. You've gone through so much, and even though it's wearing you down, you're still pushing through it.


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