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(HUM 310) Journal #3: Friendship - Abadoss' Mind
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Mon, Sep. 17th, 2007 12:52 am
(HUM 310) Journal #3: Friendship

What is a friend? What do you look for in a friend? What kind of friend do you want to be? What would you want your friends to say about you as a friend?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to be a friend. I have come to various answers at various times for various reasons. For example, a friend can be someone to spend time with, someone who is willing to help at any moment, someone who I can always trust and confide in, etc. As of late, I've come to the zen-like understanding that friends are those who pursue friendship with me. I refuse to think that "friends" are something I can "have". To assume that you can possess friends, assumes a manipulated, and somewhat dead, relationship. By realizing that friendship is a pursuit and not an object, It places more value on the intentionality of both involved. Friendship is a process of growing together and learning together and actively seeking after one another. It's the same kind of intentionality that we are called to when we are to seek God. So, to answer the second question, I look for someone who is willing and able to be intentionally seeking after friendship.

As for the third question, I hope to always be someone who pursues friendship to its fullest. I'm certainly not perfect and I'm certainly not without need of help. I still have my biases and I know that there are places where I am not doing enough. But I always look to address it. I want to always value seeking.

I genuinely hope and pray that others are able to see this in me. In some regards, this can have two effects: people are drawn in or people are put off. There are some who may be put off by the idea of being so intentional about friendship. Some might even be scared of the idea. I'm looking for those who are not.

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xanthpenny
xanthpenny
Jeni
Tue, Sep. 18th, 2007 03:25 am (UTC)

I really like the way you put that. I've always felt like you can't 'keep' friendships without some sort of effort put in. Not that it needs to be hard or considered work. But it's just what you said, active. It explains a lot of why I don't feel as close to my old friends..particularly ones I used to be around all the time. If you're already with the person, it makes the actively seeking happen basically on it's own. It seems that most people aren't willing to fill in the gaps when you leave school, or move, or aren't in a situation to automatically see each other all the time.


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xanthpenny
xanthpenny
Jeni
Tue, Sep. 18th, 2007 03:26 am (UTC)

I think I made sense...but I just got off a 13 hour shift, and my brain isn't working very well.


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