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Old Journal 27 - Abadoss' Mind
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Mon, Oct. 26th, 1998 08:11 pm
Old Journal 27

Today is Monday, October 26, 1998. I’m really starting to fall apart now. I can’t seem to get it in my head that Kristy has business with Deuel and not me. Well, yesterday, I found myself looking at names for a future child. If I were to have a girl, her name could be Katharine Rebecca Keyn, and if I were to have a boy, his name could be Victor Charles Keyn. The girl’s name means, pure- a knotted cord (or a faithful wife, I guess)- pillar. The boy’s name means, victor- a man- pillar. Just for reference, Keyn means pillar in Norwegian. My name means, handsome- guardian of prosperity- pillar. A possible middle name for a girl could be Tagan, which means beautiful. I don’t know why I was thinking about names for future children. It just came to me to look for names for children when I was looking for Kristy’s name in a book for naming babies. The book gives the meanings and histories of names. Today, I felt a minor earthquake while sitting down thinking. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to startle me. Yesterday, we had a thunderstorm roll in. It lasted most of the day. It cleared away as fast as it came. That was more than enough to startle me. I turned off whatever I could to prevent possible electric power surge. I can truthfully say that I am afraid of natural forces. Most people would be more afraid of a demon than a lightning storm. For me it’s the opposite way. I don’t fear evil spirits because I know how to deal with them. However, I don’t know how to deal with natural forces. I find it easier to face things I can attack and defend myself than things I have no control over. For example, I can rebuke a spirit, but I can’t do anything to stop lightning, flooding, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis, and any other natural disasters. My main problem is that my imagination is too expansive and my knowledge of what can happen to a person is to great. Plus, my overall knowledge of how the disasters work is not very vast at all. All these just make me think of the possibilities of what could happen. This makes it hard to stay comfortable during heavy storms, high winds, and earthquakes. Anyway, today and probably tomorrow, we in the band are taking playing test for our instruments. I have a choice of what songs I can choose. Of the songs I can choose, I have a choice between “Amazing Grace” or “The Star-Spangled Banner.” The reason I chose those two is because those are the two songs I know how to play the best. I got to sit very close to Kristy again on the bus riding home. I sat in the seat next to her seat. She was sitting by the window again. I was sitting by myself. She is just so attractive it’s hard not to look at her. I’ve been able to be less suspicious around her. That helps me get closer. For some reason she has been able to elude me as to what her sixth, fourth, and third periods are. I don’t know how she does it, but she does it well. She slipped on her first and second period because her classes are really close to mine. I’ve almost gotten her English class about four times, but she totally diverted my efforts. I’m not done yet. I have still a couple tricks up my sleeve. Tomorrow, I have to retake my ID card picture because the person who makes them screwed up on the bar code on my ID. I’ve also started a new drama. This one’s is actually show something instead of the last one. This one is called “The Road of a Soldier.” This one is going to be based upon my life. It will have seven scenes. Each having it’s own song by one of these four Christian artists: Twila Paris, Bryan Duncan, Cindy Morgan, and Crystal Lewis. I have the rolls already wrote out. Now the only thing I need is to write the play itself. It’s all in my head. The problem is that practically all of it is action. I overheard some of my friends talking about salvation. It’s not exactly what I thought salvation was about. They said that you have to do good things to get to heaven. I didn’t know how to jump into that one. I hadn’t thought that that would be a problem. Well, I thought wrong. I’m going to have to be a little more open the next time something like that comes around. These same friends of mine keep talking, singing, and rapping about, in their words, “dooky on a stick.” It’s just beginning to gross me out. I pray that they will find something else to sing about, and soon. Well, this last Saturday was the time change. I’m sure I mentioned that in my last journal entry. Anyway, that time change allowed me to wake up at 6:00 in the morning. First, I when back to bed until 6:33. After getting ready for school and finished eating a piece of peach pie, I had about an hour left to do nothing. It was extremely boring. Today, I thought it would be a hot day, but that calculation was off by a bit. It was a bit chilly today, even at PE in the last period of the day. I will have to be more careful next time. Probably tomorrow. Well, good night at 8:11.

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