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The Tragic and the Heroic - Abadoss' Mind
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Sun, May. 8th, 2005 11:27 pm
The Tragic and the Heroic

It's an interesting fact of life that the areas of life that you tend to have the most capacity and sensitivity are the same areas that you're constantly struggling with. Heroic stories (at least the ones worth reading or listening to) are always about characters overcoming an area that they struggle with, which is often the area that they're most sensitive to. Tragic stories are about those who fall to their flaws in those same types of areas.

And look at me for instance. My story isn't complete yet, so I can't claim to be a heroic or a tragic figure at this point. However, the place that I tend to struggle the most in is with relationships and my capacity for love. Any time I'm depressed, out of sorts, etc., it's always because I'm having difficulty with this area of my life. As disfunctional as I am in this area, it's also where I have the most capacity and sensitivity. Yes, I'm an idiot when it comes to friendships and even moreso when it comes to love, but I feel both extremely strongly and I'm affected most by my dealings with these.

So, what's the difference between a tragic figure and a heroic one? I'll tell you right now that it has nothing to do with death. It has to do with the flaw. The flaw is present in both and it's always close to their area of greatest strength. Every single time. The difference is in what they do with their flaw. The tragic figure struggles, but ultimately allows the flaw to destroy him or her and is denied the full reality of their strength. The heroic figure struggles and overcomes his or her flaw and awakens the strength.

Do I consider myself a hero or a tragic hero? Well, as I said before, I can't claim either since my story's not yet finished. However, the potential for both are very present for me. I have a flaw, if not many. My flaw is close to my strength. I struggle constantly with my flaw, so that I can awaken the strength.

I think why people write stories about heroes and tragedies is because they best relate to the condition that all humans endure. We are all heroic figures and we're all tragic figures. We overcome some areas and we are subdued by others. The reason these types of stories speak so well to us is because it is a reflection of a part of ourselves. The struggle, even if it's for completely different things, is always present. The day it no longer is, is the day that we have died (whether that's in the physical sense or the psychological one).

So, this is my strength: I have a great capacity for love and friendship. My weakness is this: I have been broken and I have lost touch with my ability to love. I find bits and pieces from time to time, but, overall, I am still shattered and I have been for many years. It's partly my fault, it's partly the fault of my past, and it's partly the fault of those that have hurt me, but it's still my responsibility to pick up the pieces. And what's more, it's my responsibility to ask those around me to help. I can't expect anyone to know the kinds of things that I've gone through and I can't expect people to know what to do. I can't even expect that people will want to help, but I've still got to ask or else I will become a tragic figure.

I don't know what I'm doing and I don't expect you to either, but I could use your help...

Current Mood: hopeful hopeful
Current Music: "Everything = Nothing" -Sefiros

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